found out what b.m.t stands for.
what did you think?
bread, meat, tomatoes, but then i realized that could be practically any sub.
she told me she had a boyfriend but the alcohol told me she didn't
Do you know of any times in scooby doo when the monster turned out to be a real monster? You know not just a person?
Last night was a blur. All I remember is jizzing in the squeegee bucket at a gas station.
The look on the soccer mom's face was PRICELESS.
did it hurt when the cum got in your eye
not so much hurt, more like a stinging sinsation like mouthwash
Is a Chipotle burrito an acceptable "sorry I ran over your cat" gift?
You need Jesus. Or a midol and a snickers. Whichever.
It will be a surprise...all i can say is stripper clown
Walked into the bar with my burrito and ordered a round of shots for everyone. Not sure if I want to look at the credit card statement.
We need to stop sleeping with people based on which NFL team they like.
there is no excuse for him not showing up to my st. patrick's day party. i touch his dick. i get him on the high holidays.
Rush week is fine, only the t-shirts are white and if it rains, the frat boys in their lawn chairs will be treated to 800 freshmen girls in their first wet tshirt contest.
Welcome to college.
She can't meet us until 830...there's no hope for our sobriety at that hour
I think this shark week should consist of getting drunk enough to actually go hunt sharks ourselves.
Oh my fucking god that cat looks just like you after you accidentally took Ketamine
Randomize
