there is a school bus full of santas parked in front of the liquor store
It was literally the size of a half eaten tic tac.
Just so we're clear, that's a yes to the honey, but if you get marshmallow fluff anywhere near my body we are never doing this again
im watching blue is the warmest color at the music box and this dude is literally masturbating 3 feet in front of me
How does one un superglue their foot to the floor
"Don't bang the neighbor, don't bang the neighbor, don't bang the neighbor..." he chanted helplessly
Let's knock shit down like godzilla and have intense sex in the rubble
I'm high. ignore me
god dammit I AM NO LONGER PUTTING UP WITH YOUR HETEROSEXUALITY I QUIT
My house is about to be spotless and the only person visiting is the plumber and not the porno kind.
She's in it for that fear factor ya'll. Obsession and stalking or nothing.
You just kinda wondered into the street and started screaming at dogs and small children...
It took me an hour to walk from my drive way to my front door... what the fuck was in that weed?
She's gonna be mad if she finds out you put weed in her house warming cookies
The fact that a spice girls song is stuck in my head is a great sign that my decisions aren't the right ones at the moment...
dude. that's the chick that BIT MY DICK. it doesn't matter how hot you think she is, trust me man.
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