i wish peter jackson would direct porn
Some dude just bet me $8 I couldn't smoke a pack of cigarettes in an hour...It sounds stupid, but I really wanna do it. If I survive, I'll have $8 and it'll look good on my resume.
Is there any way to un-invite somebody to a wedding? I just checked out the other family, and I can't have a cockblock there.
You were rubbing your foot on one of your legs and kept saying, "My sock feels like a waterslide!"
I hope this doesn't change things. I feel that me being a minor made it more exciting.
at the hospital. he locked himself in the kitchen, said he was making beer batter shrimp. don't know if it's the mercury poisoning, alcohol poisoning or second degree burns they're holding him for, but i've got a pretty guess.
How do people deal with hangovers? I literally want to eat my own face.
She lost her glasses and we found them on the roof. Don't ask questions. Kings cup was intense last night.
Within the hour, he sent me 8 texts and 4 voice memos. One of the memos was just him whistling for 3 minutes. ...It's official, I attract the crazies.
So is there a reason your dad is passed out naked in my shower? P.S. Congrats on the family dong.
I didn't get it..
I'm sorry. But to the original question please.
It's 3 am and I'm buying cat food and batteries for my vibrator. Good thing I shaved my legs for this.
I don't know whether to laugh it off or be pissed at him..I got pulled over this morning leaving his place and the officer thought my hickeys were hand prints around my neck and asked if I needed to be escorted out of town.
Yeah, last night in the parking lot was hot. I'm sure whoever has the surveillance tapes thinks so too.
This isn't good. I can't find my mom. This is why we don't give her Fireball.
Compositionally, that's actually a really nice picture.
And your penis looks really nice too.
Randomize
