"The real world" DC house is on the corner of 20th and S. Wanna come with to check it out? It's my goal to be a blurred out face in their hot tub.
Minivans at bars can only lead to bad things.
when i came out to my mom, it was over brunch. i was eating a banana. not exactly my smartest breakfast choice.
its barely noon and he already threw up and i have second degree burn
I'm partying with my neighbors right now, and by "with my neighbors" I mean they are partying in their backyard and I'm partying in mine, and by "partying" I mean I'm sitting here alone drinking tequila.
This coke is making my nose hairs dance. That good.
I cunt my lip shaving. That's not a typo, it's a placement clue
So is there a reason your dad is passed out naked in my shower? P.S. Congrats on the family dong.
I didn't get it..
I'm sorry. But to the original question please.
He literally wrote out a schedule. On it, there's a taco break, and a spot where I start crying.
all i've had to eat today is leftover bday cake and a shot of tequila.
welcome to college.
Nothing says "we're never gonna bone" like "nice haircut, it makes you look like my cousin"
I just want to nap and funnel a bottle of wine in a cute dress
You have to just make a conscious effort not to make out with people when he's around if you want to keep him in your life?
i ate her out in full view of all her roomates. the word awkward doesnt even cover it.
I think there is cocaine on my toothbrush.
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