either fucking kiss her or kick her ass to the curb. Either way I can hear everything you are saying
too bad you live with your parents still
she said it was okay because they were "professional" nude pictures of her on the internet
dude she was so drunk she thought Jim Joyce made the right call
so apparently the car got towed with me passed out in the back seat.
In the midst of you puking your guts out, you stopped, looked at the globe in front of you and whispered "America.."
I never appreciated sexting until I went to rehab
Oh Brad. Your poor brain, always being ignored for your penis and crazy women.
If you loved me you'd bring cheese fries and a condom
I hooked up with a guy dressed up as morning wood. Needless to say he lived up to his costume.
Nothing kills the mood like him going to slap my ass and he hits his balls at the same time
You should feel special! You're also the only person I've ever punched during sex
He suck his junk in my HALF BAKED. Ben & Jerry would totally disapprove. This is worse than sticky dick donut day.
Got myself invited to boss's family dinner party, drank too much, and fucked boss's brother in his parent's house. Just another Wednesday.
I still have to bake cookies and shave my legs so Mike can have MILF & cookies when he gets home.
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