I was staring at you from my window across the quad. I wanted to let you know so it's not creepy
It's nice to sit in the library and see the progression from freshman pledge to 6th year coke addict all at one table. Gotta love sororities
I CAME HOME WITH MY NIPPLES PEIRCED! WE WERE CAMPING. IN THE MOUNTIANS. I DONT EVEN REMEMBER IT AT ALL.
I feel like I shouldn't have to explain to you why giving your cat weed was a bad idea.
You can jump from the roof to the pool. Trust me. I have done this before.
1. I'm excited for tonight 2. Do we dress up as pirates? 3. Happy Valentine's Day bae
AND I HAVE A NICE COCK! A STRIPPER TOLD ME SO IT MUST BE TRUE!
We're making a scrapbook of dick pics, you want in or what?
I mean you can one up her. Instead of ruining friendships you can ruin marriages.
Waking up next to a guy you don't remember going home with and the first thing you say is: where is my tiara? = successful birthday
Just took acid. Wish me luck.
I worked out twice today and you're dropping acid. My life sucks.
He wore pink swim trunks on our date and repeatedly insulted my profession, but his cat kept standing up like a person to nuzzle my face and I felt like a Disney Princess. I hate this dude, but the cat is too amazing for me to not fake interest for.
you tried to drunkinly do the backflip kick off of karate kid and broke the big screen
So turns out my new assistant isn't really my assistant. The owner needed a title for his FWB so his wife wouldn't catch on. I got a three hundred a month credit limit boost on my corporate credit card instead.
Only if I get to be Gritty
How would you be Gritty for a fantasy hockey league?
Don't worry about it.
Randomize
