oh my god, i just wanna eat cake off your dick
She was giving me great head...... until I asked her how much this was going to cost.... she left abruptly
Drunk at a girls little league game. Hello summer.
her boyfriend dumped her for my exgirlfriend. so filming our hookup is pretty much a definite.
All you have to drink is moonshine and ranch. This is bullshit.
I'm sorry for peeing on your door. But it was your decision to open it.
He sent me a picture of his dick with a cowboy hat on it.
I have to stop envisioning penises as dragons.
you were like "guys ... i think i got fingered while dancing tonight"
our poor poor cab driver
You straight up wore me out. This should be a proud moment for you. It's almost like my penis is asking for a timeout. But not really
Is there a word in the English dictionary for impressed, yet disgusted?
I think the word you're looking for is flabbergasted.
FIND ME A DICK TO RIDE THAT HOPEFULLY IS ATTACHED TO A CUTE PERSON AND NICE PERSONALITY
CHALLENGE ACCEPTED. Is it okay if I only get 2 out of 3?
The D is nonnegotable.
And tan into my neighbor in the elevator. She was going to the gym. I was covered in mascara and dog hair eating a hash brown
My "lord keep me from stabbing a bitch" prayer has gotten a lot of miles today
you never know when your going to find a surprise from me in your bed...it keeps you on your toes.
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