I think I took your hangover as a birthday present
a slip n slide in 50degree weather was the 2nd dumbest thing i have ever done. the 1st was hitting the wooden fence i believed was supposed to "help us stop"
I miss old school porno. There just isn't any love in porn these days.
I'm going to get so drunk tonight, I actually feel bad about the 30 seconds of drunken awkward sex I'm going to have with one lucky fat chick.
they duct taped my keg cup to my hand with my sister's phone number on it. I should be ok tonight.
we made out inside of a kiddie slide for about 20 mins. it was the sexiest, most suffocating experience I've ever had
Welll when you have a beer at 8:30 am you've already decided whaat kind of Sunday it ism
He came in my nose, then said it would help clear my sinuses.
yeah we were the ones eating jello shots out of the back of a jeep in the bar parking lot
St Patricks day needs to be raged like youve never raged before. Like youre in the desert and it starts raining beer. Like it's the day the announced the 21st amendment (which is the one that ended prohibition)
I'm having a really difficult time dealing with the fact that my dog now shares a name with Snooki's crotch-spawn.
Also I just learned you, Samantha, and I three-way made out at my Halloween party. News to me.
Did he ask you why you were in his back yard Sunday night?
What should I list for life skills
How about home wrecking? You’re excellent at that
Hmm...that is a life skill in Southern California
We're going to watch the inauguration and fuck. Or fuck and watch the inauguration, I'm not picky, just get your ass over here by ten.
Randomize
