This could be one of the worst things i've done... The background of her phone is her and her boyfriend.
The girl behind me in psych just tapped me on my shoulder to tell me there was a condom wrapper in my hood.
Yes my plan is to drink the college out of me so i can be an adult by monday
You shouted "FUCK SHANIA TWAIN" and then downed an Aquafina bottle of white wine none of us knew how to react
Maybe we could get a groupon for vasectomy. I'm game.
It's ok. I will share any beautiful men that I drug and leave unconscious on my bed. I'm that kind of friend.
And that's the fourth pair of yoga pants with unwashable stains from you.
No. If I hated you would get none. Then I would eat them all in front of you and laugh at your tears. Although that hasn't been ruled out for entertainment purposes. Nothing purposeful.
Will it make you feel better if we wear the title of dysfunctional fucking roommates? It requires monogamy unless we want to bang someone together.
So many gingers... It's like a beacon went out that said "this one is ok with red hair"
I just overheard an "I'm going to get your dick so hard" conversation at Costco.
As of right now, my vibrator and a bag of snickers share the same drawer
I woke up in my bed with candy and beer bottles all around me and i dont know where any of it came from. I love valentines day.
I was trying not to blow up your phone, but I'm so horny I think I might die
My ex's sister asked me to be her date to Thanksgiving. Should I go?
Threesome!
Randomize
