Just fell off a train. Bad.
if sarah has 12 dollars and spends 6 of it on cheap booze how much will she spend on hangover food the next morning?
4 on the dollar menu at mcdonalds
mom cant say that college never taught us math
Drunk lesbians having an argument about their realationship isn't as hot as I imagined.....
Sometimes i wish my penis was detachable that way i could take it off sometimes so i wouldnt get into these situations
i feel like god sat there all night pointing and laughing at me
I cant talk about it right now or let you guess, but its something you and i would do. Kinda like that time we had the case of beer and went bowling
You hooked up with minors in a golf cart?
well we could tame deer to let us ride on them. does that work?
I've reached too hung over to move status will you bring me something to drink?
I moved out 2 weeks ago remember?
Can you ship it to me then?
We should hook up after this. Laugh or look horrified to say yes.
she comes in perfect pitch. hook up with more singers.
I got dressed on his front steps, peed on his neighbors lawn, then did a shoeless walk of shame home at 5am...
Also, if you don't fuck me soon, I will die. I don't want to die like that.
DO NOT TOUCH THE SOAP ITS HAD SOME UNORTHODOX USES WITHIN THE PAST 15 HOURS
I want your attention. I want your attention in the form of your penis inside my vagina.
All she said was "Do me by Friday."
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