wake up i wanna do it froggy style
I just google mapped his house on satellite so i can really see how much money he has. Does that make me shallow?
i feel like im doing the pre-walk of shame..like every car that drives by is like, ooooo look at that girl, in that itty bitty dress, yep shes about to get her skank on tonight...
I wish facebook had a fuck off button.
cruising supermarkets, asking random people where i can get weed. fuck alaska
I never said you were fat, just too fat for ME
Life's too short to consider the larger psychological underpinnings of my lust.
We're past the whole "Did she just try to finger my ass?" Stage. Now it's encouraged.
I dunno. Last time I went there I had got sexually propositioned by a Belgian prince.
I've been at work 30 min broke a paper towel holder a chair set a box on fire and fell down twice. Hungover Brian just reached a new level
Some girl just showed me her stretch marks
You need to get out of tn
What's sign language for "you may not be the father?" Kinda important right now.
As its breast cancer awareness month, I'm going to do my part by making everyone aware of my breasts
A blind man just put his face in my cleavage. I'm also crying.
One day I'll learn not to get drunk on a plane. Today is not that day.
Randomize
