That blackeyed peas song was on, so I thought that was prediciting tonight was going to be a good night. And then my garage door opner fell and hit me in the head.
I literally just copy and pasted that from another bbm convo bc I'm far too stoned to explain that again.
She was really sick last night--but i was too drunk to bring her chicken noodle soup after the bar, so went by taco bell and got her a chicken burrito instead
Now there's vomit covered trash all over the front lawn. I feel accomplished
I cleared a drunken path to my bed for you. If you hit clothes you've gone too far.
It's official drugs can't kill me
Got so drunk in South Padre some guy put me on a suitcase trolly and pushed me to my room. I flashed my boobs as a tip.
On a scale of 1-10 how seriously are we considering being sugar babies?
I'm about a 7.95
IT'S LINGERIE PURCHASED FROM A FLEA MARKET, THE ONLY THING IT'S GOING TO BE POSITIVE FOR IS A TEST FOR HIV
There are only four things in life that are certain. 1 Death, 2 Taxes, 3 The wu tang clan aint nothin to fuck with, and 4 you will never be more important than taco bell
Love waking up to a new contact named “Pizza” btw
the police dropped me off. that's how my night went.
Either my apartment is haunted or I'm far more drunk than I thought
To describe how high he was he said, " I'm cocked out of my ape sandwich" so yes...that was some pretty good weed.
I can't wait to see you & have espresso-fueled sex
you yelled, puked and cried then passed out in the fetal position in your underwear
Randomize
