Have you ever been so weak from sleep you couldn't push your poo out?
Just watched 1 guy 1 jar with my mom. Awkwardville...
i woke up next to the toilet with a chipped tooth, somebody elses shirt on, and a random guys id in my pocket
Its so akward after he cums on my face. like usually the porn just ends
It took 5 minutes to find my bra.. in his car.
Asking the cop for directions wearing a lion mask may not have been my best moment...
I just need to go to a bar tonight wrapped in an American flag singing the national anthem
I hate that he uses me for something other than sex. What does he think I am? His girlfriend? Ha.
I might have been fine if i had magic teleportation powers and could have skipped the car ride between bar and home
Had a dream I beat up niall then madeout with him while snorting coke out of a dragons egg
You were definitely drunk. You gave him an otphj in front of everyone.
I slept naked with a towel wrapped around my waist in case I pissed the bed again
It's not even 8 pm, or Saint Patrick's Day, and Kevin is drunk on my roof humping the air
I feel like the physical embodiment of the pot leaf eyes smiley face
Have you considered murder?
Other than my credit score and this bowl of oatmeal, not really. It's very messy
Randomize
