Hey guys thanks for lettin me crash at your place for the weekend, I had a great time. PS I got three quarters of a hand job from an asian on the dance floor last night. True story.
am i the only one who has tried sucking their own cock????
Unfortunately, they didn't pull of their wake and bake plans. Instead, they waked and vomited like a half-retarded giraffe till everyone woke up.
True Life: I hate vaginal excretions
He showed up drunk to my cousions HS grad party, we stayed at the bars till 2, then he got up at 5 to run a half marathon and by the time I woke up wlhe was already back and drinking.
I woke up to him peeling the skin on my stomach from my sunburn. If he wasn't so good in bed I'd be a little freaked out.
so, give him that "thank you for fighting for my freedom bj" & he wont even remember what you said in that six min voice mail.
He put up a Facebook album attempting to sell off their Harvard furniture. Items for sale include: his friend, a broken lamp, an item described as a 'carpet and/or sleeping bag', a pair of paint stained cargo pants, size 'Tyler', and a self proclaimed $3 bottle of wine, which he is offering for $2
I have a weapon and I'm not blacked out. Good as gold
I vaguely remember Matt shouting something about "GET ON MY LEVEL!" at the bartender before he attempted to order a case of tequila from him.
I would agree. Whose business is it if I like to guzzle vodka by the liter on my of time? Answer: mine.
My sexual preferences tend to require a degree in psychology to understand
danced like there was no tomorrow. surprise. there's a tomorrow
You’re like one of those doomsday preppers, but for your vagina
Drunk sex on a hardwood floor is never ever a good idea. Lesson learned.
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