Dude, she looked like the Canadian Slam Poet, neck hair and all.
all i remember is screaming butter knifes are for pussies.
i could have sworn she did an overextended split with her legs over her head but now i think it was just the drugs
Found her. Shes unconscious up against the room door. Her credit card is in the keycard slot
SARAH B AND I ARE GOING TO GO HALFSIES AND BUY YOU A CAT. IS THAT OKAY. TO KEEP YOU COMPANY DURING THUNDERSTORMS SUCH AS THIS ONE. ITS BECAUSE WE LOVE YOU.
How many beers are too many "cause it's Archer Thursday" beers?
if you ever get a chance to, fuck in a lecture hall. great acoustics. highly recommend it.
Apparently I told the girl smoking was terrible for her, and then requested it in my mouth.
Saturday morning. Went into a study room excited b/c some1 had left a paper w/ an inspirational quote: YOU ARE cApable of aChieving anything yoU waNT. Then I read the bold letters.....
The only alcohol in the house was a bottle of Sherry. It's like cough syrup that I shotgunned off Strawberry Shortcake's ass.
YOUR BALLS CAME OUT. DONT CALL ME A SHITSHOW.
Bud light lime after 12 shots of vladdy is like frolickin in a meadow of sweet flavor
I don't remember much and some girl almost convinced me to jump off the bridge while she held my stuff...
He woke up & asked where his pants were then asked where he was then asked who I was. Been married 20 yrs. He was drunkest ever.
You shoulda seen me try and clean up custard from an eclair off the floor while trying to pretend to be sober for my mom. Fucking hilarious.
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