He wanted to take me out and said we could "go huntin in the woods."
are you wasted or are you getting laid?
ebdebdebdebd
wow
She brought up feelings... her days are numbered
I just woke up at my desk with "To Whommmmmmmmm" typed on a letter. I have no memory of waking up, getting dressed or driving in.
I'm in the liquor aisle and a 10 yr old boy yells, "My favorite beer is Corona! Daddy remember when you gave me some on our camping trip?"
Oh. And what's the twitter protocol for following the guy you blew behind a shed?
the head trauma was worth the blowjob.
My mom got me high and then dropped me off at a church.
I've abandoned trying to find a logical explanation of your life.
I told her the job opening requires being on the phone during the week and on my face on the weekends. I think she wants the job.
They just showed up to the party with a shopping cart full stolen of naty ice cans, no boxes, just cans. Shit just got real !
Would it be inappropriate to trade Christmas cookies for sex?
First highlight of the semester: campus safety caught me peeing in the dirt parking lot by kappa. Then as they were about to write me up, they recognized me, laughed, and left.
How do you respond to a booty call from yesterday?
I can get stoned and we can bake and then I can eat 70% of it and it will be awesome
also I saw his dick in the morning light and it was glorious. Like staring upon your birthday cake you ordered from heaven and going " can't wait to eat that later"
Randomize
