Would it be weird if I brought slabs of bacon with me to the beach?
I think I have a pornographic memory.
Don't you mean photographic?
No.
So drunk can't even tell it's my own house. WOaoOw.
He DELETED brick breaker off his blackberry why even bother trying to find something in common?
she said my body looked tiny like it was a bad thing and then didn't even mention how great my tits look. it's like we're not even friends.
Don't blame the cocaine for your eating disorder.
You refused to come over and kept yelling that you were gonna sleep on a car
If I remember who won the superbowl tomorrow morning.. I think I'm just going to quit drinking. There really won't be a point anymore
whiskey dick. though we did manage to break my closet door and flood the bathroom.
By the way, thank you for feeding me fries when I was sitting on the floor.
Every shot buddy I have I end up blowing. I don't know whether this pattern is good or bad.
We are buying drugs from a guy with a Jesus fish on his dodge caravan.
Dude it's huge. I don't usually like looking at those things, but you're kind of forced to stare that horse in the face.
I dont remember you getting a condom thrown at you. I think I had a concusion
I am texting my ex and my future boyfriend while eating fish and chips with my current boyfriend... How and when did I become such a terrible person???
Randomize
