That can be our thanksgiving, vodka and cornbread. Just like the pilgrims.
There's nothing more uncomfortable than drifting into sexual fantasies on a roadtrip and realizing you have a boner with three other dudes in the car.
Also, just saw a homeless man answer a phone call on a blackberry...
They both told everyone they fell in a mud puddle
Oh they definetly fell in the mud, repeatedly, on top of each other
My booty call got married. Come over before I start tagging all the places my dick has been in her wedding photos.
I knew I was in the wrong bar when "I have a daughter your age" was some random's pick up line.
you cried when she wouldn't let you have her bathroom rug.
he passed out at 11 at a party. he deserved to be stripped down an duct taped to the floor
Yes, he made a MIX CD for our booty call...
That big chick who gave you the handly polished off one of the walls to the ginger bread house right before she came outside. FYI
So i know i shouldnt being spending random large amnts of money...but i just bought a sword.
I'll even be awesome and bring pizza for your family, just as a "hey thanks for letting a stranger get trashed at your house" gesture.
no joke- she just sprinkled parmesan cheese into her champagne and slurred "I just need a little snack"
although steph and I had 3 bottles of wine by that point and watched an opera that featured a black dildo so anything was possible really
Whenever I'm hungover I try to stay in public as much as possible, hoping to be a cautionary tale to children. It's a public service, really.
Randomize
