Nicole vs. Life
you really should stop posting my phone number on craigslist as tranny seeking tranny, last night i answered at family dinner and almost choked on my hot dog
do you not see the irony in that??
hahaha he is wasted in math class right now and is drawing all the planets in order from the sun
and he thought i came like four times in 2 mins. my leg just kept cramping up
Do I buy ice cream sandwiches or a 40? these are the difficult life decisions I am faced with.
Pretty certain he passed out for a while going down on me. Absolutely certain he passed out during the blow job.
he called me back to his office so he could lick a line of pixie stick off of my thigh
be sure to add "office slut" to your resume
I told her she can't come to our bonfire because she throws up on herself & she has a mustache. And now apparently I'm a bitch or something.
I can now tell my grandchildren Central Park has really great spots for quickies...
Yeah I made some freshmen feed me oddles of noodles and I passed out
I think that thing where I have 2 boyfriends is happening again
We were having margaritas and I was saying "back when I was drinking..." They looked all confused. Then I realized "holy shit they think THIS is drinking?"
Thanks for DJing my sex last night. You were on point 💜
Let's just say, I will never again lick an asshole.
i just woke up in my dog's bed, on my parents floor, my outfit on backwards, and a bottle of lube poured down my pocket.
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