I thought he was gonna sex me but then he ran to my bathroom and jerked off
This girl added me on fb and has all these pics of her kissing her little brother saying i will love you forever. I'm creeped out.
maybe it's her son
thats not any better.
Apparently oprah and I were in competition to see who's ass could get bigger this summer
well after we realized that his best friend and my twin sister were hooking up it was kind of an unsopken agreement that we would too
We had sex in the woods. It was great until some bird started mimicking my orgasm sounds
my stepmom is let-the-dog-eat-out-of-her-mouth drunk. oh my god.
John stretched a condom over his face and tried to puke in it.
I didn't know he had a girlfriend until after we had sex when he said, "Man I really gotta stop cheating on my girlfriend."
I spent $31 at mcdonalds last night. Threw my nuggets all over the yard, ate them out of the snow, picked a fight about it, vomited, then passed out.
Naked.
Holy shit, just saw a girl in the library smoking a bong disguised as a calculator
Anyways, he came over at 3:30 am and ate me out while I ate pizza on the counter
We duck taped Dave to a rolling chair and shoved him in the bed of the truck then took off for a bit.. We didn't explain it that way when the nurse asked what happened though.
Im just confused who has their mom break up with someone
Please don't fuck the professor. We both know that won't end well.
If I don't wake up tomorrow you inherit my paycheck and can only spend it at cinnabon
Randomize
