I didn't know that people actually queef. Is this a real thing?
I believe so, yes.
Would you be offended if I asked if it has happened to you?
ok understand this, i didn't pay for your dinner bc you said i wasn't going to get a blowjob for at least a month... this isn't a mail-in rebate deal, you gotta pay upfront
Just saw a girl i'm pretty sure is simultaneously jailbait and a milf. I never want to leave mexico.
I guess you don't remember pouring tequila in the dog bowl and slurping it.
And by that I mean I told her the plot of the first batman movie as my life and it took her like 20 minutes to figure it out
I just feel like a girl who's never eaten a pb&j probably doesn't swallow
Naked Twister starts at high noon
She carried my bag of puke down the aisle and the flight attendant wouldn't move the beverage cart so she put the puke bag in the flight attendant's face and said "I have a bag of sickness!" I've never seen a cart move that fast.
The problem with that is that my car has been stolen
I have one of those hangovers where you visualize how awesome it would be to climb in your fridge and drink glacier water
He told me the hickey on the side if his neck was actually a "bruise" from hitting a bird on his motorcycle. I'm not sure what's more impressive, the fact people believed him due to the size of the mark or the fact you gave it to him.
Since Josh is going to be Carl Sagan for Halloween, he bought a turtleneck and sportsman jacket. It's all my nerd fantasies come true.
Well his dad is my dentist so they've both been in my mouth.
It's just not St. Patrick's Day until someone pukes on your panties.
I feel like a weird modern Betty Crocker. I'm icing a cake and looking at gay porn, if that's not an accurate portrayal of the 21st century idk what is.
Randomize
