i told her parents not too worry the way i do it girls dont get pregnant
Dude, Her having kids just means she puts out.
Tonight has been like a good ass fucking high school movie
this girl im hooking up with thought my ring was a purity ring... apparently im taking it too slow
Now there's vomit covered trash all over the front lawn. I feel accomplished
I got out of bed with her to go smoke a bowl with her roommate which was fine but I passed out when I went upstairs to take a piss.
Yeah.. she's probably not gonna call.
He doesn't have any game.. I mean, his one move is forwarding chicks pictures of his penis.
We're like Siamese twins, but joined at the genitals.
They were scared I was going to get lost last night so they dressed me up as Waldo so someone would always find me.
wrestling a boy for fruit? sounds suspiciously like foreplay...
You rubbed a frozen pizza in my face. The concerning part was that it was semi cooked from our body heat
What is more embarrassing, shitting yourself in Mexico or having sex in a forest preserve with a 19 yr old? This is crucial research.
I almost forgot to feel shameful, if that answers your question.
I am 95% sure I just heard my cat say "What are you doing home? It's Saturday night."
I just got a rock from a customer. Weirdest. Tip. Ever.
Randomize
