So I think I might still secretly love him despite the ass licking...
Hey ass licking is a very nice and intimate thing! Don't discredit your feelings
But what if he licks everyones ass?
Remember that time I came into your room after taking a muscle relaxant and we argued about what state has the longest coastline?
I was in the bathroom and heard my brother scream "YOU FAIL!!!", and I swear to GOD, I thought my penis was yelling at me.
just saw way to many penises for it being 5 o'clock on a thursday
I am moving slowly w him. I havent even masturbated to him yet.
Please make the clown in the corner stop judging me. I mean he's the one with paint on his face. I don't need him judge judying me.
Vegas should really enforce the buddy system because if not everyone is going to end up swimming during the water show in front of the Bellagio.
How do I know I'm high? Let me count the ways.
1. I put the milk in the cupboard, 2. Everything tastes fucking amazing, 3. My dog is really soft, 4. The lunesta butterfly flew out of my tv and touched me
So apparently the only parts of last night I remember didn't actually happen.. When did vodka become a hallucinogen?
In her drunkenness, she packed a bag with tequila, two shot glasses, salt, a knife, and two pears. She was prepared but too high to distinguish pears from limes.
I hope it's socially acceptable to wear a mesh one piece into last call tonight?
NATIONAL GIVE A BOSTON COP A BLOW JOB BITCH ROAD TRIP NOW
I woke up in Brittany's thong, Tony's shirt, and an oven mitt
You just wait. When you see me foam roll naked, you're going to lose your mind.
oh.. my GOD my dad just text me... "i need a naked women" ........... help?
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