But, the reference to being horny and then blending a banana is troubling
I am full of burrito and curiosity
dude are you gonna smoke tonight? my day was shit and I wanna get high
worker bees can leave....even drones can fly away....the queen is their slave
nevermind....I'm on the way
well this feels familiar. awake at the crack of dawn laying in the fetal position praying for the sweet release of death. i think im done with jager for a while
im so poor im using the bottom of my laptop to heat my food.
If you start sounding at all like you're even remotely in love, expect a lecture on the merits of being a single woman with a vibrator.
This is why we're friends.
Is it worth it to drive to a zoo with a high possibility of sex at said zoo?
The engagement ring savings account is now the strippers and gin savings account. What are you doing tonight?
Oh, also as a concerning side note, my bra had drops of blood on it. So I don't know what the deal was, but someone I was around was definitely bleeding a decent amount.
As soon as we had sex he stopped opening doors for me. That wasn't an exchange. Im still a god damn princess
I was so drunk at your wedding that Uber is now showing up in my Spotify recent searches.
you could be the only one getting laid right now....yet your sitting in here making goat noises
we can no longer cook chicken in the house. his name is herbert, we are keeping him and can not eat his people in front of him.
Who's phone is in my pants and why did I wake up clutching a handle of vlad?
Dude. why do I feel like I am cheating on you every time I do shrooms?
Randomize
