it was beautiful and magic like when a hot girl grabs her own tits and smiles at you
Bad news: I had to be at work at 7:15. Good news: no one had used the bathroom yet so I got to defile a freshly cleaned stall
May i just say it is extremely difficult to pee in a cape
what is the aproppriate waiting time between having sex and playing super Mario brothers
6 min
I guarantee that wasn't the first penis someone placed on her forehead.
No. I'm wrapped up in my sheets like a burrito. Carry me
I filled this oven with as much Pizza as I could, and I've been eating out of it for three days.
Just ate the last piece. Refilling the oven.
I would sacrifice a finger for two more hours of sleep.
Just bought shock top, Trojans, double shots and baby oil. At 8 am. While the lady in front of me bitched about her expired coupons.
Did you send me a snapchat of your sister triple kissing two other girls?!!! You might be the greatest friend the world ever made
he sent me the greatest dick pic I've ever received.
he actually took the time to cut a fingertip off of a glove then put it on his dick like a beanie. he called it hipster dick.
Like we just had a bunch of sex and then he threaded my eyebrows in bed lol. It was amazing
Ugh. The fucking vaginal recession is so real right now.
So how do I get back in good graces for trying to trade you for superbowl tickets?
We're currently sharing pics of our cats. I can't wait to sit on her face.
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