things it involved: vodka, boy parts, possible photos of me on a cell phone. things it did NOT involve last night: my bra, his pants, and sobriety.
i mean i'm ok with bufu but if i'm gonna do it it needs to be a mutual agreement, and there are steps that need to be taken. you don't just go OOPS we're doing it now
the cops didnt even wait to start drinking the confiscated alchohol from the party
If I send you a picture of the guy passed out in the bath tub, will u be able to identify him?
in respone to your voicemail you left me on saturday, yes i had gone to bed and no i was not still drinking at 5am
Same here... Well I was planning on having some sort of deep conversation, but looking at how grim of an outlook tomorrow has on you, I'll just re-inform you that I have your pants.
I just threw up over a bridge. I didn't even know there was a bridge in this town. Vodka is like a transportation device.
I wore sweatpants. When I show up to a booty call in sweatpants there's your warning
Valuable lesson learned: if you reach the point where you have to talk yourself in to finishing the last half of your beer, you shouldn't try.
He just texted me saying "you've got a face that suggests you give really good head". Is this a compliment? Do I say thanks?
Stocking up on Wasabi powder. Nobody's tampons are safe.
I promise that I won't shotgun beers with your boyfriend this time, Scouts Honor.
I had a dream I got back with Amanda. And then cheated on her the same day. Even my conscious is a dick
Today's goals: get day drunk then sober up in time for the walking dead tonight.
Chicks dig it when you smell like bong water and frebreeze.
Randomize
