and that's when the elephants and penises started dancing on the ceiling
Good luck! Who knows he might be a stallion in the bedroom! or it could be like having sex with a crayon.
i went to go through my sent box of drunk texts from last night and they were all deleted... i'm going to assume drunk me made the executive decision that sober me would be better off not knowing what they said
i cant get the smell of ass out of my nose
You basically tried to anal probe my passed out friend with a lamp
Everytime I am with a guy I hope his penis is as big as yours. It never is. Thanks for setting that bar.
Im thinking about quitting weed for my dog
Oh, and also, a couple of straight girls showed up. But they ran away.
He was just lying on my lap in the backseat screaming how if the cops came he was a blanket.
May 25th. Drunk Laser Tag party to celebrate our bdays. May 26th. Mushrooms at Chattanooga Aquarium. Damn
as much as I don't like snorting drugs, I would totally be fine with someone doing a line off my ass. that's just a whole new up
I am luring the porn star to my house with chicken!
If it makes you feel better he's in the stall next to me and I'm taking a diabolical shit. He's complaining
you missed a good time last night.
you texted me at 10 telling me to come fuck you, that says enough.
They made Game of Thrones Oreos. Kill me.
Randomize