Lots of explosions. Minor nudity. Full penetration and lots of tuxedos.
My dad just passed me a joint.. this is a turning point in my life.
We can talk tomorrow when we're both alert. My mind is somewhere else right now.
Where's it at?
In your pants.
I know. I almost started crying. IN WHAT UNIVERSE IS THAT A TURN ON?!
in literally every picture i'm wearing less and less of my costume.
Thats gotta be it. Also just found out that the fireworks will fit in the airsoft pistols...we are all gonna die
Come over. I've made 2 dinners and so many cocktails. I'm a 50's housewife with no family.
I'm texting an actual stripper. A male stripper. I dont wanna talk about it yet
Then he unzipped his pants and whispers, " oohhh, look out!"
If I had a vagina, my apartment would have been the Atlantic
Someone put pennies in the toilet. This isn't a fucking wishing well
I should have known when she said it would be "fun" we'd end up in the hospital
It took me an hour to walk from my drive way to my front door... what the fuck was in that weed?
my goldfish that i got the day i lost my virginity just died. im terrified as to what this symbolically means for my sex life
We already gave up cheese, how are we supposed to give up coke?
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