I just realized I have my pepper spray, gun, and vibrator all in one drawer. One false grab and I'm screwed either way.
These old men are woofing at me..PLEASE HURRY
he was banged his ex for coke the whole time and is still the best guy so far this year. standards need to be raised.
Blow job bear ended up in my bed last night. She didn't live up to her costume.
FYI: telling a guy his dick is more impressive than you remembered it - they don't take it as a compliment.
Please tell me that chemistry equipment is for chemistry and not for producing felonies.
Since when do you jog?
Since hot shirtless guy that lives across the street jogs
Dude, I woke up with wet dollar bills in my boxers where did you take me???
No it's like. I don't respect you. And I think you're a terrible person but. I still wanna bone it out.
I'm still home, my life isn't together. Currently drying my pants
So you called me the queen of nudes yesterday and I'm still not sure how I feel about it
We were getting breakfast he shit himself in the middle of ihop. Mid bite he just yells out o fuck.
Aww you are cute. With your penis. And failures.
I fought off a bull with my bare hands while he went off to have sex with her against a wall. I’m more upset about the fact that no one is acknowledging what I did.
I know you won't see this for awhile, but I had to tell somebody, and you're like the only person who won't judge me for having an accidental erotic encounter with General Tso's chicken.
Randomize
