i think guys who wear condoms are gentleman.
i woke facing the corner with my computer and i had googled "how to put out a fire" i am so scared to turn around
dude i have an english essay and a bio lab due tomorow
so basically your not goin out tonight?
who said that?
I had to have the lights off to hide my face. I was laughing so hard I almost peed in her mouth
I left you pizza on the porch. I didn't want to wake you, if you were passed out on the bathroom floor again. Sorry if it's cold.
As one final fuck you to the courthouse i'm paying the rest of this ticket with sacajawea coins.
I paid your cover too so you're on the list as tits mcgee. You're welcome :D
Actually, you don't want to see me.. reached an all time low drinking kahlua out of the bottle concealed in a macdonalds bag
I mean I don't object to weird looking penis as long as it gets the job done. I just need to get it in. I'm gonna be humping chairs soon.
Our 450 pound cab driver smells like McDonalds and sunblock with a touch of vodka. Correction I smell like vodka.
Finals drinking + forgeting you had to take your ambien because you work at 6am mid paper= drunk logic which then entails going on a "detox" run. Puking your guts put in the field house bushes while some random guy says to you "its okay. We're marching on."
Just scratched my head and I basically rained glitter.
Friday is the holy day of drinking. Thou shalt observe the Sabbath. It's in the bible. Look it up bitch.
i love how you, my friend, sends me a picture of herself wearing a shirt that says "i am dead inside" and i'm just like "awww baby you're so cute"
that's just solidarity
When you realized the door was unlocked, you did the mission impossible yheme song and snuck into the bathroom. And continued it while you peed.
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