I just shaved my legs while pooping. classy or trashy?
talent.
i don't care who i fucked last night, until im at 43plus im not considering myself slutty
did you fuck him yet?
hahaha who do you think your talking to.. a nun?
btw, her name was actually Alixx. in retrospect, it was pretty much a gimme
So how do we make 4/20 better than every other day we are stoned?
I definitely managed to work the word "aforementioned" into the conversation.. At least I'm an intelligent sexter.
Dude I just ripped my new jeans climbing out the window so his booty call wouldn't realize I was home. Being his roommate should come with hazard pay
Let's get really high and wear fake mustaches and try not to laugh at each other...
that's just what you get for learning massage techniques from gay porn
I just saw a fat girl roll down the steps taking out three people with her, thought you should know.....
He kept humping my leg and whispering "dont worry, thats my phone not my penis"
Instead of getting a taxi some gay black guy drove us home. He is trying to break into the taxi business
Way to promote small business.
Yeah. I couldn't figure out why my toes hurt. Apparently, the guy I was dancing with, kept running them over with his wheelchair.
sorry for pouring tequila vodka and whiskey down your throat and left you to sleep on a table
You crawled into bed with Bob and started whispering to him about produce.
Randomize
