You guys sftrill at mcdondalds?!!!!
Yes.
fuckin bring me a cheseburgeria
I'm so hungover, I actually considered rolling down the stairs to avoid walking.
If it makes you feel better, I doubt anything could survive in your uterus.
just peed on the 7/11 floor and casually left. Omg so drunk
His apology was sex and a subway sandwich. Strangely, I'm okay with that.
Please don't be alarmed by the blood on my arms and phone in the morning. It's not mine.
Its the least I can do really, I mean, I did sleep with her husband...
How are you going to come here and fuck on our couch ? That's everyones couch
I refused to call him anything but Drake eyebrows all night.
Like he held up the condom afterwards, twirled it with his finger, and said "look at that load"
I'm making poor life decisions again. Tune in tomorrow to see how much I hate life.
THERE IS WEED IN MY OVEN. HOW AM I EVER SUPPOSED TO MAKE CHICKEN PARMESAN WITH WEED IN MY OVEN.
I'm done, I have no more memes or ways to ask for nudes, so yeah
Perfect. I'll put on my party clothes and write emergency numbers on my arm
Probably not. Getting pulled over and puking my guts out on the side of the road in front of the cop and him making fun of me, was not my finest moment. Plus I lost my debit card.
Randomize
