We walked in and the first thing we heard was, "OH SHIT! White chicks!" Naturally, I made some new male friends.
so not only am i rooming with two chicks on the volleyball team, but we just put down the deposit on a hot tub. this is going to be the best summer ever for my dick.
So someone just pointed out to me that during dinner, I mentioned more women that I'm attracted to than men. The transition might be complete. I'm gay.
I'm sorry for not being sorry about whatever shit I did to you when you were annoying and I was drunk. That is all.
So if I tell her fire is hot and it will burn her... she's probably just going to keep throwing her vagina at it huh?
I told my grandmother all I want is a nice guy who likes to be tied up.
My exam ends at 4pm so I plan to be passed out in the bar by 5pm. Want to join me?
I had to rename my dildo. I met a little kid who named his teddy bear the same name. It just felt wrong.
We christened the whole apartment and fucked on the balcony. It was amazing. I'm 100% sure downtown heard me climax. Now we can unpack.
I am buying anal lube, an enema, and a bag of kit kats. What part of this is compelling the Walgreens woman to tell me to "be well".
Self reach around competition is what the Olympics has been missing all along. A true test of athleticism.
I realize my mistake but don't you dare school me in cock, young man
How I know I would be an awful mother....I just stirred the bong up with a baby fork. A literal baby fork....
Is it bad that if I found out I couldn't have kids I'd be more pissed that I've been using unnecessary condoms than the fact that I'll never be a mother?
I tried to get the guy I like to “spit shake” on a sexual bet... why am I such a bro fml
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