I'm watching harry potter...good thing I already know I'm gay
I'm pregaming with America's Best Dance Crew.
Do a shot everytime Lil' Mama mispronounces a word.
i called him pencil dick in front of over half of his fraternity brothers...
...never gotten so many high fives in my life! fuck ya i win!
can we change the rule from "no one is ugly after 2 am" to 1130 so i can justify last night
He used my blackberry to make a voice recording of me orgasming, then set it as my ringtone while I was sleeping. I discovered this during a staff meeting this morning.
say it with me now .. the "golden" penis. his nickname does not disappoint.
You see.... Im at the point in my life where pissing in a toilet is a luxury for me
I'm not gonna get my cat high anymore because what if he has a heart attack. I don't want to be responsible for that shit
My roommate walked in naked grabbed my hand and pulled me into her room to see her randoms dick.
I’m almost positive this girl is drinking a mojito in class right now, if so she’s my new hero
I have to tell him to stop eating me out so I'm not late for work; my life could be a lot worse.
congrats on being the token straight people in our group.
My sensibilities as a lady demand we cuddle on the couch, and THEN have loud, raunchy sex. Idk, what do you want to do?
When I get off work and you're not around to hang out with all I do is lay around in my underwear and eat potatoes.
Last night I actually told him I came with a washer and dryer
Randomize
