I think I just saw someone hide a body.
If there is ever a next time, care about me enough to lube it up no matter what my drunk ass says
oh great. kentucky is ranked #1 in the country for child abuse. go us.
You better be watching. There will be a POP quiz. Each correct answer gains you 5 more minutes of the sexual act of your choice
He pretended my clit ring was a door knocker.
My neighbor caught me peeing on his rose bushes at 2 in the morning while wearing my Santa hat. My sex appeal has never been higher.
I'm gonna fingerblast you when you get off work. Get ready.
I'm not gonna lie. The thing I miss the most about him right now is the air conditioned hotel rooms.
Your vagina doesn't want to be violated with garnishes. I get it.
No seriously you guys are gonna get arrested
Do me a favor I want you to reach down the front of your pants and underwear and just feel around for a while... if you happen to find your balls then join us
What exactly is it about Doctor Who thigh high socks with a matching shirt that says "take me I'm yours!"
Can I drink yet?
It's Monday morning.
Your point?
you said you heard a baby, so i told you to go feed it. you came back 2 hours later with a pizza and when i asked you where the baby went you pointed to the pizza and puked.
is caitlin alive?
ya she's alive she's watching a movie
ok remind her she drank toilet water then.
You tried to see how many socks you can stuff in yor mouth and I just put on a damp sock. Is this what bestfriends have come to these days???
Randomize
