You have more facebook pictures than most towns have people.
oh yea it is. i was not expecting to look at a snowbank and just see flying mushrooms
Found him fucking some random drunk chick in the bathrrom at the blue lep with a beer in each hand. had to give him props.
My roommate says its rare that you can be tear gassed before you lose your virginity so i feel accomplished in life
REALLY should have cleaned under my bed before I had my parents come help me pack...things my parents just found: several condoms and a bottle of lube. My mom when she found a condom: "ooo ribbed. Laura's a lucky girl"
I feel like I shouldn't have to explain to you why giving your cat weed was a bad idea.
They're basically the Kennedys. This is the family I fucked in to. I'm so proud of my vagina as much as it feels shitty for my heart.
I'm gonna make some noodles and go to bed. Hopefully I don't fall into the stove or something.
Next time a party gets busted lets get a group photo first.
Did we seriously just get into a fist fight over kit kats?
I think the blind guy i flirt with on a regular basis is starting to realize he's old enough to be my father. I can't tell if he's into it or not.
I want to tell you your future: you're going to be having sex
I'm hoarding IKEA meatballs in my purse
Just to clarify, i'm coming over for tacos not a threesome
That awkward moment when you were so fucking drunk lastnight that you and your fuck buddy wake up wearing eachother's clothing covered in hot cheetos with his cat curled up between your heads meowing. Thought you'd appreciate this moment with me.
Randomize
