I'm such a slut...i kept having sex with him after he called me his ex gf's name. I just felt like i deserved something out of it too.
My mother just asked me if i ever swallow the goods...should i be concerned?
it's a little hard to watch the basketball games with my family considering they keep cheering for the guy that i had a one night stand with...
It only takes once for you to drunkly piss on a chick for her to lose interest in you.
No we just stood in the kitchen and laughed for 2 hours about how funny the popcorn noise was.
I have too much respect and admiration for my dick to put it into a situation where he could possibly be killed
Even though he had a fractured vertebrae, the sex was still phenomenal. Better than normal actually. I hope the vertabrae never heals.
The school security guard knows my name.... I think I'm missing some memories...
She just broke into my apartment while I was asleep, woke me up and drunkenly tried to seduce me for about 2 minutes, then passed out..
Fuck you and fuck your stupid hat
Crying in Target on a display sofa is normal, right? Asking for a friend.
I threw up in the bathtub last night like a decent human being.
I just lost my handcuff virginity and not in the sexy way.
Why did you have to tell me he has a hammer cock? Now I can’t stop staring at his pants.
I got home and found him passed out in my tank top so i think i'll put lipstick on him and mass text a picture to everyone in his phone. that's what he gets for eating all my wheat thins
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