Saw some pubes in our toilet, hope the new look works out tonight.
Does adding vodka to a protein shake defeat the purpose?
after the first blizzard, i went out and bought a thirty and put it in a cooler and hid it out in the backyard. now the second blizzard has deposited 2 feet of snow on top of said cooler. there is a shovel and treasure map over here waiting for you
We'll see haha. The cum didn't work...I just chewed the whole thing in a day.
I hope you meant gum...
You came in as I got off work, ordered us jack and cokes. Put them on my tab, and then proceeded to fall asleep on the bar.
I gave you head at the stadium on a Thursday night ESPN game. That damn well better be worth points on the score board!!!
So the bartender from Applebees totally looks like he would take his clothes off for $40
I like how you possess the gift that turns normal guys into strippers
I don’t know what's weirder; the fact that I weigh more with an erection..or the fact that I actually weighed myself with an erection...
Do you remember trying to make pizzas with the domino workers last night...while trying to speak their language with them.. spanish?
And amler is totally snoring loud as fuck sitting on the steps with her feet in a puddle of soda puke
Well the term Party is used loosely in this situation. Since it will just be mom wine drunk and us eating chips with multiple dips.
This electrician is just ripping my house apart and I'm too hungover to ask questions
I think I swiped left on my soulmate
Fuck me I smell like cheese
It's become almost a Pavlovian response. The sound of the vacuum being run by hubby causes an instantaneous involuntary orgasm.
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