U know those big foam mats in the back gym for track?
ya, gonna go have sex there?
No I want one to have wings and pick me up and take me home
He's a collector of sorts
Any cool stuff?
You should see the collection of booggers in the carpet next to his desk
Four minutes until I can fart!
It's so hard to take my boss as an authorative figure with her New Moon movie tickets taped to her wall
stranger just walked up to the fridge at the party, took the hawaiin punch out, drank it straight from the bottle, looked at everyone who stared in awe and said "im fucking thirsty" and put it back.
this weekend will be like the season finale to my life
I knew we were gonna fuck after she told me she's seen that Porno before
just 'accidentally' changed my relationship status to 'in an open relationship' just to see what offers I might get if I were to dump him. it's not looking good
I'm really really gonna try not to at least one night. The 4 day thanksgiving bender almost killed me last year
Drink for every country you've never heard of.
Fuuuuuuuuuck
Amnesty Wednesday? I'm free to do dirty things to you and you can't laugh or judge?
I mean obviously I like your dick... Jury is still out on you but your dick is good
The last thing I need is a possessed urethra.
I sent my brother over to my ex's to get the rest of my stuff. He comes back SEVEN HOURS LATER, high as fuck without my shit! No loyalty.
I know it sounds cheesy, but i think both me and her mum know they are "thanks for being so cool about finding nudes of your daughter on the camera" flowers
Randomize
