I heard you aren't going to graduate...that suck sorry bro
I heard your girlfriend is trying to spread swine flu because she wants to wear one of those masks to cover up her broke ass teeth
We just found a handle of vodka in our fridge and no one knows how it got there. God I love spring break.
well after this past weeked you can expect to see me on maury playing a little game called "who's the father"
if you want blown tonight you're gonna have to take me up on that offer now. in less then 45 minutes you're gonna be blacked out and i'm not doing something i'm not getting credit for in the morning.
we are torturing ourselves with these mediocre cocks
im seconds away from chugging that vodka and preforming the surgery on myself.
We will. we just need a little inspiration.... in smoke form.
I started rolling down the window so he pulled into a gas station and i puked all over the side of the car while some dude stared at me. I waved and we drove away
What?! Why else would they put table cloths on a table if not for discreet oral sex? That's why they were invented! Read a book...
Oh I know babe. You're shining beacon of adult responsibility. That's why I go down on you.
I go down on you because abs
Of the 4 nights I've gone downtown this week, I've been "piss in the parking lot" drunk 5 times
Is kiddo a correct name to call someone who you stuck your dick in?
The only thing I remember is the 300 pound man breaking ur railing from sliding down it at 3 am. Must of been a good night.
um care to explain the stolen chinchila under greg's bed..i'd be fine with it if it wasnt chewing up the stash
Well when I woke up this morning I didn’t think I’d be masturbating to my own LinkedIn profile today but here we are
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