I think we need to take a brake
What upsets me the most about that is that you spelt it 'brake'
I just woke up to a lawnchair covered in lipstick. I'm wearing red lipstick. What happened and is the tequila?
Her best guy friend really had a thing for her all along.... Now we're back together and he's gone Dawson's Creek with his away messages.
he's drinking at 8 in the morning. it's going to be one of those "or else the terrorists have won" kinda days
We both bought three foot bongs...going to race to see who can smoke a mile first.
IDK who she called, but some guy came into the party, flying drop kicked Joe said never again. She has to invite him around again.
Mom said you looked used
My dick was almost in plain McDonald's sight
That does it. We're drinking til we're pirates.
All three shower stalls were filled with couples fucking and then someone yelled "switch" and... We switched
Come back I feel like I ticking time bomb of
of drugs
Usually I just ask myself "have I been naked here?" If the answer is no I correct the situation.
He asked me who my new boyfriend was and I showed him a picture of my sex toys.
VIVE LA RESISTANCE
Oh god, what now?
I just spent 45 minutes and a really well-put together Power Point trying to convince her to use my dog as baby Jesus in her church's play.
Randomize
