I dont like him- his parents were home and he hid me in his closet like anne frank
I mean I'm basically single. Or maybe just an asshole. Either way.
I have another pimple on my ass cheek.
I'll be there in 10 minutes.
Semi hypothetical question. Do you think its physically possible to bruise your clit?
You puked in the drive thru of Taco Bell. You puked as it was being handed to me. You managed to yell out "FIRE SAUCE" in between hurls.
Just thought you should know that your brother tried to febreeze his floors with cooking spray last night.
I should have questioned it early on when they said bring beer and chocolate syrup
We found her. She's owling on the sink in the bathroom.
This Halloween will be different. I'm just here to get shitfaced, not troll around looking for slutty nun pussy.
Nothing says "welcome to Denver" like a hot 18 year old giving you directions to the dispensary and ending up blowing you in the backseat
I'm basically flying you out for a long weekend of sex and going to the zoo
I'm cool with that
he accidentally put it in my ass, i liked it but didn't tell him that and "accidentally" took his weed.
What're you gonna do with the rest of your night?
Probably watching cooking videos and fantasizing about pie
You tried to run away last night. The neighbors brought you back.you were in their hot tub again. This needs to stop
this strobe light makes my body turn on and off
Randomize
