Fucking hipsters really piss me off man. They are just such punk as bitches, all of them. Oh, and fuck Ed Hardy too.
I like my sex mixed with concussions.
Remember how we wr so drunk last nite we cldnt find whr i shot my load? ...found some of it.
i broke up with my boyfriend last night because i had to eat a freezy pop in every color and he ate the last blue one. i sat on the floor and cried for an hour at least. everyone left. so i decided that this whole weed thing isnt really healthy for my relationships.
You can't use the, "think about your future" line when trying to convince me to save some weed for tomorrow.
He's laying next to me passed out dressed as a hooters girl
I bet he's a super pretty hooters girl
Know what was probably a bad idea? Using white wine as a mixer for vodka.
I never want to do this again, I'm going to chew off several fingers and apply for disability
I like the fact that you've for some reason taken my penis into protective custody
If a marine in My bed is not considered a valid excuse for missing class then I don't want to live in America anymore
A guy just picked up ur brother and carfied him away singing and im slight concern
He can't just hit it and quit it and then eat your pop tarts on his way out.
Was he a virgin!? DID YOU TAKE A GUY'S VIRGINITY ON MY FLOOR!?
I just paid a hobo to give me his Santa hat so I can take Christmas nudes. Will send them later, they're fire.
I'm just letting you know right now in advance that if I die or go to the hospital or end up in jail tonight it's because your kid sold me mushrooms.
Randomize
