I was on top riding him and his friend walks in and watched for a minute before he realized what was going on
Omg. The strippers are having a batman vs spiderman showdown. Both on stage. Genius.
Using manwich sauce as ketchup. Not bad. Love college.
when i start to cry when i lose at mario kart is when you should put me to bed
Bought two parrots for us. I'm keeping them at the Bellagio.
I definitely paid for a case and a fifth and all I got was 6 beers and a crown and coke. Wtf. Bar math sucks
you pulled down your pants to convince a girl you were god
She's using our floating beer pong table as an air mattress to sleep on.
I hear fucking Christmas music. I'm going to find fucking Santa and tell him to suck a dick and shut up for the next month
What is this nonsense on the table
Your idea.
I mean the hole taco that was chewed up and spit out
Definitely had a dick in my ass while watching the Seahawks win. Best NFC Championship game ever.
I'm so hungover I can't taste anything
I don't want anything calamari shaped after last night. But I appreciate the Cheerios offer.
Burnt food and a broken vibrator. Disappointment after disappointment. Is April a man?
For now I'm a single mom monday-thursday and a drunk looking for dick the rest of the week
Randomize
