dude, the reading rainbow guy was just talking to a HOLOGRAM
Are you sure you're not watching Star Trek?
wait... oh
So his roomate was eating breakfast when I was sneaking out. He's the guy I took home from jessicas wedding. I ended up eating coco puffs with him
Just another sign I need to get out of this town
I wouldn't necessarily call it an addiction, more of a passion. I'm habitually passionate.
i dedicated my morning wood to you.
Black Friday shoppers are ridiculous. I think I just watched a marriage end.
Did I tell you that you looked cute last night? I looked at the pictures. I lied.
And the clouds opened up and the sex gods said I hate you alfalfa
Was it a good night or a bad night when you have to apologize to someone the next day for trying to fuck them with a turtle?
We were talking about threesomes when she went to say who she would have as her third. She did not get to finish her sentence because her bf already said my name.My sheer presence destroys relationships.
I didn't even know this guy existed until he'd had his hands down my pants, so I just went with it.
Some girl woke me up at 1:30 am looking for weed and the next thing I know I'm in a hot tub with 3 girls, 2 40's, and a blunt.
coughing up blood. I'm leaving for the doctor now. P.S. I just won $350 on the wheel of fortune machine in the casino.
Were you the one who yelled "FOR GLORYHOLE!" then punched a hole through my door?
I still can't believe I was army crawling thru his backyard at 2am..
I'm with the cops, Trish's gay husband stabbed himself and is framing her for attempt of murder and I'm dressed 4 the club I'm wearing leather pants leather jacket leather boots and black club top. Embarrassed
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