I just woke up with a girl who has left and right tattoed on her wrists. In french. I may need to stop drinking.
No it only became awkward when she walked in with her new boyfriend and we realized we'd all banged her
im holly from the hills drunk
either she doesn't know how to dress properly on a sunday morning stroll, or I just saw a 60 year old on a walk of shame
its a vaginal recession for me, ill take what i can get
I will now refer to my life as before and after I used Astroglide for the first time
Its what im here for. Critiquing penis photos.
I like you as a friend, but I'm in love with your dick.
the most romantic thing he could do for me right now would be to throw himself into traffic
Got into Princeton. So excited about the mommy-issue-over-achieving-cock I get to ride the next 4 years!!!
Is it wrong that I want to do a nude photo shoot with nothing but a light saber?
I cannot be with a girl who won't let me come home on my lunch break, eat spicy ranch and watch Breaking Bad without pants on. #lesbianproblems
Imma do four shots of whisky within two minutes and pass out. Otherwise this'll go badly.
my mom is feeding me weed brownies...god help us
She’s either doing coke or thinks my cock has the Covid vaccine. Either way I haven’t worn clothes in 3 days
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