ok what kind of idiot turns down casual afternoon sex?
I'd call her a cunt, but she dooesn't seem to have the depth or warmth.
I'm drinking sangria out of a sand pail. I'll pass on tonight
Like I couldn't describe it to you but if they did a lineup of penises i'd be able to pick it out.
He was the only guy who ever made me cry..
Who, the park ranger who made you dump out your beer on the beach?
My god. His mom just smacked my ass. Does this mean I'm accepted??
So I'm thinking that so long as I have this piercing, I'm going to get tested for explosives at the airport
I left my coke in the bird nest in the bathroom stall last night but I found it nest and all in my purse I love morning suprises
What do I do when my mom and I both awkwardly spot the Rocky Horror parody porn sitting on the coffee table? Leave it or try to move it?
Should I have spent my entire pay check on Crown Royal and LSD? No. Do I regret it? Also, no.
You throw up behind 1 mannequin and it's world war 3 in forever 21
Life without a bra equals bliss.
The guy next to me on the bus has one hole in his jeans that has over 20 mini dicks drawn on his leg. Classic.
im mourning your vaginas lack of frictional upkeep
He ate me out in the passenger seat of his Range Rover in a Tim Hortons parking lot. I could hear “oh canada” on the radio from a nearby school as I came. Most patriotic orgasm ever!
Randomize
