Don't bone anyone, just think of ur vibrator lol
HHaaaaaaaaa mmmmn vibrator
I just applied for an unsubsidized loan naked. I love the internet.
they found her hiding behind the couch trying to feed a cabbage patch doll a bottle of tequila. please tell me she's on birth control.
just as they were cutting his pants off he made em stop & said "everyone knows about shrinkage right".
I'm crying, drinking alone and applying for jobs tonight. I figure the alcohol will lower my job standards.
Say what you want, but those Fraggle Rock DVDs have gotten me laid twice.
in the middle of fucking he asked me if i had gotten a haircut because he noticed i didnt have split ends anymore. i dont know what to think
Just jerked off with bubble wrap. Not as awesome as it sounds.
You know it's time to do the dishes when you take shots of water out of a sake glass...
And you wonder why you're always one of the guys?
As much as I trust your struggle imma deal with being Eskimo brothers with my own sister before I get to that
HELL YEAH TIME TO KICK THE CHILDREN
Does going to a local bar count as taking part in Small Business Saturday? Asking for a friend
I found Erin. She's getting a back massage from the coat check boy and drinking all his whiskey.
I just saw elmo dancing with gumby. The bars at 7a.m. are AWESOME.
I'm glad I didn't see Grandma stumbling drunk and peeing herself...it would be like seeing my future.
Randomize
