i may or may not be watching the land before time
me texting you is like we have secret walkie talkies.
well it doesn't count as a walk of shame if he drops you off at your class in his golf cart
You know you're on day 1 of your period when the new mcdonalds commercial makes you cry
I wish you'd make everyone's lives easier and do him already. Then we can get rid of him.
New low, passed out while taking a shit for an hour with my parents home, suprised they didnt notice
whenever he tweets that he wants to get blackout it's like a neon sign for "i want to bang you tonight"
You know where a good place to spend summer is? In your head. High as shit. It doesn't matter where you are.
Jumanji is 1000% better stoned while cooking breakfast.
She just sent me a message. It's a poem, about eternal love, that she wrote, about us. Just because I took her home two nights - doesn't mean it's eternal love.
Besides, I don't need any more men there who have seen my tits. #bearwatch2014
He has great stamina, he knows how to use his tongue, and he's hung like a goddamn Pegasus. I can overlook the man bun.
What conversation warrents "penis" in rainbow comic sans
Life is clearly unfair. You remember Courtney has three older sisters, well they're all "make baby sister look like a four" hot. I knew I shouldn't go home with her.
Just made my first drink, took 2 sips feel like god
Randomize
