So I had sex in the woods... it was just as dirty as you'd expect it would be.. and not in a good way.
Had sex with the ex last night. Regretting to begin in 5, 4, 3, 2, 1... WHYYYYYYYYYY!
Dude idk, apparently telling two drunk chicks 'that's whats up' after watching them lick eachother's face wasn't the compliment they were looking for. I mean I was fucking hammered.
Wow.
Wow... that's disturbing man, and their not even my balls
my goal is to masturbate without thinking about my exbf.
I'm gonna go out on a limb and say it had something to do with pool sex.
Ha, I bet. You tipped the waitress like 10 bucks for a glass of water.
Notice: I will be intoxicated and in your area this evening. To unsubscribe from my sexual solicitation list, reply 'fuck off'.
I ran into my parents house and stole a bottle of vodka last night...Apparently left them a note that read "DRUNK. TOOK VODKA. BRING MORE."
I'm pretty stoned, and for a second I forgot that I'm not actually Barbie and I was getting excited about all the fun we were going to have on my jet.
I guess there's no delicate way to say "I'm 90% sure I sucked his dick in the bathroom of the bar."
I didn't know I was invited to an orgy.
Are you drinking tequila at 1pm? ...at Disneyland?
I. Love. Skype. Sex.
I think it's just been too long since actual dick has been inside you that you only THINK you love skype sex
Complete and utter failure. 100% unsalvageable. I have not failed so hard at a culinary endeavor in YEARS. MY HONOR IS IMPUGNED I HAVE SHAMED MY HOUSE
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