i think the fact that he graduated high school the year i graduated elementary school is sexy.
I KNOW you don't honestly think you can pay me back in lotto tickets.
im trying to catch a child molester. call you later.
Just took a final in the room where I lost my virginity. I think it was god luck.
Maybe I don't remember every single thing... I think there's a hi lighter treasure map drawn on my arm...
I just found it. I hope it leads to food.
She can drink whiskey without a chaser and has a fridge full of whipped cream. Girlfriend potential
I have a completly random but serious question. Can I make a paper mache mold of you ass and turn it into a pinata filled with airplane bottles of liquor? Its for my art class
Neither of us have work tomorrow and we live w/n walking distance. This is your official Sandy booty call. Come rock me like a hurricane.
I've never seen a dude bust out of his jacket and rock an air banjo like u
You will never be paid again to get drunk and tell off cops without being arrested. Once in a lifetime opportunity
You're right. Fuck my job. I'm in.
You couldn't remember her number so you tried to dial her name into your phone. Once you realized you didn't know her name, you dialed 7 random numbers
I am so stoned. And there are so many white people in this Jack in the Box.
I NEED A MOM FRIEND. NOW.
I woke up with my my shoes on and pants half way off and missing 60 dollars. Please please please tell me you saw me last night.
Do plants get herpes?
who is this
Randomize
