I'm skeptical of all drag queens.
she looked like the bat from fern gully.
Remember when the only STD we had to worry about were hickies? Those were the days
i want you to know that after i type the word "your" , vagina is next on my auto correct text
she sent me pictures of 3 different vaginas and if I could pick which one was hers i could sleep with her.
I was always good at matching as a child.
He referred to his penis as "a gentle giant" and said I had offended it
Thing I actually said tonight: "I want to achieve Ultimate level drunkenness, I'm only at Champion"
Jesus Christ that hit just spoke to so many levels of my soul. It's caressing them softly
I broke a glass at the bar and ended up with blood on my forehead. I apparently kept screaming BLOOD like the little boy in that YouTube video.
You have mono. It's like being pregnant, your are excused from normal social niceties like responding to people.
So his 25th anniversary post of love to his wife was almost verbatim what he said to me last week. Does that mean I win or lose?
We kinda got asked to leave the strip club and on the way out, you fell again. When you finally got up we got a standing ovation from the girls behind the bar and you took a bow. It was awesome.
like don't tell me my baby smooth vag offended you
If my drunken penis pic is ever to be forgiven id like to start over with all that
I let a drunk straight girl spank me with a metal paddle at the bar tonight. Remind me to never do that again.
Randomize
