there was a trapeze. enough said
did u really fuck my little sister???
im not saying yes or no but just know that my answer rhymes with "mess"
if we break up, blackout me is coming back, making out with everything in sight
So if we break up over this are you still gonna come over and do my dishes?
I really wish I had added "blowjob on a slide at a playground" to my bucket list before last night.
she puked as i came inside her. that has to mean something.
You said "bag of dicks" before passing out and falling off the landing
Oh god... Please tell me Sarah didn't see me like this
...you may have kinda punched her in the tit on the way down...
I accidentally told my mom "the reason I didn't answer your call is because my phone was in my pants, on the floor"
I believe the question is can one ever have too many vibrators?
I was about to google "rabies and sexual activity." Then I realized I was at work.
I just need some of your time and all of your body.
I plan to try out my new vibrator and watch Star Trek: The Next Generation. It's a busy night.
I have 3 vacation days left and I'm guarding them like a gay dragon on a pile of gold dildos molded after celebrities.
Smaug the FABULOUS
I think I am just gonna marry that lesbian. She is more of a respectful gentleman than any of the guys I've slept with.
Been there. Done that. Still have his t-shirt.
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