I guess I should mention that I have already fucked the Fed Ex guy.
That changes everything.
We did face masks and fucked...he really isn't gay, what they say about europeans is just true
i walked toward the cop car thinking it was the liquor store lights nd by that time it was too late to escape the trap
He was waring a speedo fashioned out of american flag bandanas and when he got hard he said "you're such a patriot...raising the american flag like that"
He turned off the music when i walked in and introduced me to everyone. then they gave me jager and made me chug it while holding a giant purple dildo. everything resumed when i finished
I know it's not technically the "Mile High Club" but we def need a name for the airport bathroom. Cuz that just happened.
I had sex with a Dutch boy on a rock last night. Happy graduation! x x
That's why you bone lesbian cage fighters and 45 year olds. To make life less boring.
I know now that the cab driver can get me a 10 dollar blow job. I'm practically a local.
See? I told you no boy in roller skates could be entirely straight.
Let's have sex in an apple orchard
Not as awesome as someone telling you that you have the biggest tits they've ever seen. And they're like 30-something, so they've seen a decent amount of tits in their lifetime.
She just won 2 Grammys at 17 and were sitting here hotboxing our half bathroom
Have you ever had to act sober and talk to an authority figure in a coconut bra? Because it is just as degrading as you would imagine.
It wasn't intentional or anything but I've now had sex with all of your siblings. How's college going?
Randomize
