dude, im still at the bar with two chics... one has a moustache ill save that one for you... be home in 20min..
he is not the type of person you only have sex with once. god adds years to your life every time you sleep with him.
and she's shaped like a lego person so that's not happening
tonight lets celebrate not being married
I need to write the inventor of adderall a thank you note stapled to a copy of my degree
I guess I just laid down next to him with the entire pot of mac n cheese and started giving him a handie with one hand and eating with the other
Just dont tell him. Tell him you colored your vagina for breast cancer awareness month. He will understand.
That's unfortunate. Distance can be a stoner's greatest enemy.
You make it sound like a battle for Middle Earth.
the question is "speedos?" and the answer is "yes".
That's the kind of break up sex that keeps couples together. Damn.
Just saw a guy I fucked in a clown suit in the bar. It's not Halloween. I have got to start making better life decisions.
Remember that mom/daughter stripper team? Well i just met the ex husband/father in AA. WOW!!!! WOW....
If you've never been partying there before, take Shae with you. Drunk Shae is like a GPS. She found us the only bottle shop still open at four, a pot dealer, and told us all which subway to take to get home. She'd never been to Madrid before. It was awesome.
Omg. I just remembered my underwear is in my wallet
I woke up in his closet, with my shirt inside out and backwards, Rolos in my hand, a tortilla with a face carved into it stuck to the fridge with a magnet, a homemade bong next to the bed, and the door off the hinges... I need a chaperone.
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