She was drunk and kept trying to talk while I was in her mouth. It sounded like the teacher from a Charlie Brown cartoon!
SEEEEXXX PLEASE
The best thing happened. Some guy was butchering Conway Twitty at karoke and the power went off in the whole bar. And someone shouted "you pissed jesus off when you messed with conway!"
I puked for half an hour, but I went and danced afterwards, and that made me feel better.
You are so irish.
That girl gave me her number because you were arrested. I am so proud of you dude.
Note to self glow in the dark nail polish can be quite the mood killer during sex especially when you notice its working for the first time and you stop everything your doing to do spirit fingers
I literally told her "she's a sandwich I'd like to make" and that's all it took
i ended up playing naked naked monopoly and hangman with my dealer. i really love my life.
Here is a brilliant idea passed on from men who have that same regret. WEAR A FUCKING CONDOM ALWAYS.
I wrapped my scarf around his head and then made him go down on me
And I also said, "probe me"
$150 and 3 orgasms. Dogsitting is awesome.
What's the worst that could happen? I'm already broke and my leg's already broken
We had sex and I never took my mets hat off... I feel like Duda knows and approves.
They offered me pot brownies in 7 minutes flat. Imagine my horror when I had to be like, are those gluten free?
Did you put my shoes in the freezer.
Nope. I did however put them in the kiddie pool you pissed in in the living room before Tyler put them in the freezer. Ass hole.
Randomize
