If you borrow your friends real doll, should you wear a condom?
I love sluts.
I end my prayers with that every single night.
then she came back into the room with a neckbrace on. i thought she was getting ready for the pounding of a lifetime.
Eating Doritos is not nearly as enjoyable when I'm not drunkenly feeding them to peacocks.
After he convinced me that my friend had died and come back to life, I decided I was having sex with him that night, and that I should lay off the drugs for a while.
Sorry I sent so many blank messages. My hands are slippery. Don't ask why.
Is "I am going to murder you if you keep sending me requests that I cannot fulfill" unprofesh?
Ok: all ex-gfs except you from the last 5 years have or are about to have a baby...be on the lookout...
He asked me for a pic so I sent him a pic of my boyfriends dick.
You couldn't even walk but you came into the kitchen with the funnel and begged me to put beer in it
Worst case: you're extra horny, have no control of your mouth or actions, and maybe murder someone. Child's play.
You really need to not quote Anchorman while I'm giving you a serious blowjob.
We didn't have a place to have sex. So we timed the automatic car wash & spent $9 for 3 minutes and 45 secs of car sex.
All I remember is being lured out to sit by the fire by you holding a piece of pizza in front of me
He’s actually a personal trainer. He said he hasn’t taught yoga in a while but the stripper prefers to introduce him as a yoga teacher
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