i have a reoccuring irrational fear i'm going to walk in on my dad masterbating. Night.
CONQUERED: Sean from next door. Just wanted to let you know ;)
How many people did you send this to?
his profile picture is a blurry one of him holding a beer. i recognized him instantly.
I may still return these pants. Depends how much they smell like alcohol by tmrw morning. I've already spilled once.
I mean its not the first time I passed out drunk at barnes and noble.
Basically, I'm sure one day I'll look back on this part of my life and be ashamed....
Hey, I shot that toilet dead center, drunk, from at least 6 ft away. I'm a fuckin awesome shot. You guys were completely safe.
Yes, that toilet won't be hurting anyone anymore.... Hahaha
No more margaritas for you. Also, tequila should be reclassified as a hallucinogen.
He's sending me pics of Yellowstone scenery...the only thing I can think is "I would have sex next to that waterfall"
Oh and yeah that does count as public urination.
5% want to drink juice and feel better, 95% just want to touch your butt
Earlier today I was eating cookie dough from a tube, now I'm laying naked next to a hot guy watching Pawn Stars in between orgasms. You really can have it all.
Just got drunk at the Cheesecake Factory again. Made me think of you.
That's the nicest thing anyone's ever said to me.
What the fuck dude? Now it's a "who is this?" convo going back and forth. Like... helllloooo you just sent me a picture of your penis! I'm entitled to ask who the fuck it is. I can't verify an identity by a body part.
According to the rule of quantum porn mechanics, the mere thought of something kinky causes it to exist. So out there, somewhere, there is already riddler/smurf porn...
Randomize