hitting rock bottom=girl fakes converting to christianity in order to get out of having sex with you.
I'll have you know...trying to masturbate while a song about jesus is stuck in your head is next to impossible
I just found out my boyfriend is cheating on me, please tell me Carl is a unisex name.
its totally unfair that im just as ill-prepared as a 16 year old but there's no tv show for 25 and pregnant.
does it count as cheating if I'm bettering him for his girlfriend?
Her legal name is Candy. Her being a whore is implied.
I don't think child baring hips is a compliment.
Think they will judge us if our pre drink is a kiddie pool of jello shots?
Glow parties are what I live for
Your priorities in life astound me
Until you find your self finger banging supergirl in the middle of the dance floor while her friends are passing around for luigi mustache for a photo op, YOU HAVE NOT HIT MY LEVEL
Dude the tree smoked with me. I planted the roach with it and smiled.
So apparently we wrote "Lube Shopping" in Paula's diary on every friday for the rest on the year....
Hi, my name is Ashslay and I'll be your designated shitshow.
He is currently in a meeting and I am sexting him in Italian
And he's using Google translate to reply. Who says cross country relationships can't be fun?
She stripped naked and ran around the outside of the house while I stood by the tent holding her clothes shouting "come back" because I was too drunk to chase her. This is why we can't have nice things.
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