yeah i like to chase my xanax with prozac and then viagra. you're up...and then you're UP
i wonder if she has dreads down there too...
There was a punch bowl full of straight vodka. Glass bowl, ladle, vodka, and no punch at all. It was something of a rough night
I met her at the liquor store. I hope I'm wearing a condom
future-me showed up mid trip and gave us a thumbs up.
watched two friends get underages. one had a shirt on that said lets get wasted while the other said to the cop "i understand your just trying to do your job but that was dirty bro".
This is irresponsible on your part, leaving me alone in a bar.
he congratulated me on my ability to grow long hair after pulling it to see if i had extensions
Somehow my drug dealer is stuck in my air-vent and now everything smells like patchouli, weed, deoderant and sweat.
Wow my largely unnecessary pool of lizard-related knowledge finally came in handy. Are you proud?
I don't know what to say
Someone just asked me if I was chewing red hot gum.... I'm LITERALLY SWEATING OUT FIREBALL.
Someone who makes you cum so hard that you have an asthma attack is clearly your soulmate
Google imaged your anal issues. Seems fuckable still.
At the light, his mom pulled up next to us while I was giving him road head. He forgot to tell me she was meeting us at the movie. So long story short, I convinced her I drove myself, pick me up in 20.
still drunk on my way to class to give my presentation on the negative affects of alcohol on the body. hell yes.
Randomize