U know those big foam mats in the back gym for track?
ya, gonna go have sex there?
No I want one to have wings and pick me up and take me home
TBS has betrayed me by telling me tyler perry is funny
I am full of burrito and curiosity
yeah my parents were only ten feet away and we somehow managed to do it in five different positions without them noticing
He asked me If i had cheated on my boyfriend when I said no he said it's like he doesnt know me anymore
Some kid just walked into class with his schedlue written on a keystone box.
Who knew there were so many rules and judgements about laying on a kitchen floor. I'm all like I'm resting. It just happens to be on a kitchen floor.
I'm gone to the point of literally hugging trees, partially for support, but also because I like them.
I'm like 'WOMAN, YOU'RE 62, RESHEATH THOSE COUGAR CLAWS.'
It's gonna be like a sexual version of A Christmas Carol in my house in a few days.
Sorry I wore your bra during sex last night
So now I'm just going to brush my teeth, get high, and go to sleep. Like an adult
That has got to be a joke. No human eats that much grass and lives to tell the tale.
He was singing on top of spaghetti, and then started crying. He said it was the saddest song ever, "so so sad".
I swear to god, if you ever yell my name during sex with my sister again..your balls will be stapled to your nipples.
Randomize
