you know what i hate about salt? you can't see it.
he whispered in my ear that he would be upstairs and i should come up. i stayed downstairs. he came back down and repeated to whisper in my ear. this happened about 5 times until he passed out.
I'm afraid that if I tell my sister I think Zachary Quinto is gay I'll have to put her on suicide watch for the next week or so
I woke up and went to my kitchen naked and decided I wanted a fruit cup. Ate said fruit cup. Look over and notice my male neighbor is staring at me
I may or may not be drunk driving a golf cart. Vegaaaassssssss.
How am I still drunk? Whoever said breakfast is the most important meal obviously didn't skip dinner and go drinking.
wait so...it's like an actual thing to masturbate using the detachable shower head? WTF I thought I was being creative!
One is full of apple juice. One is full of tequila. This is real russian roulette my friend.
There is a visibable outline from you in the grass. its you in the fetal position...
Also, I guess I made friends with the guy who caught me peeing behind a bush.
I will refer to it as the penis of glory... he fucked me for 3 and a half hours - and all he needed was a 5 minute power nap in the middle (which he took WHILE INSIDE ME). I plan on staying with him forever
he puked all over my guest bed and the said he felt good enough to clean it up. he poured bleach all over the bed and passed out in it. he had the chemiacal burn for a month...
It has now been 10 days since we last saw Sebastians penis
He bought me shrimp and alcohol and referred to himself as daddy. I am in love.
He stopped the gas pump at 69 and gave me my receipt. He wants it.
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