i knew he was a douchebag when his facebook activities were "ladeis," and "gettin crunk wit ladeis"
You know your in college when you use the receipt from the liquor store as a bookmark
You guys tried to boil water to fill up the empty hot tub. After the fourth trip back with the kettle you gave up.
For future reference, never invite the people you met at Dunkin Donuts at 2am to your house to watch Dogma
I think I have internal bruising from those poses we were doing last night. My own ribs hurt me. I don't understand.
I woke up to her staring at me in a corner moaning over and over again about how good the pie crust tasted
Just found a bottle of tequila in the washer.
I slept with someone shorter than me. My vagina weeps.
You fool.
Just think Febushuary. A whole month of 70's esque bush! This is the dream
my mom called me mid shot and i accidentally answered and kept calling her my own name. somehow i thought that would help the situation.
Awkward sister question: which game of thrones female left would you fuck?
yesterday pre dick pic he said "no disrespect to your situation but i cant wait to get ahold of you again in the future" is this how people network??
he came during what was supposed to be the foreplay blowjob. there goes my evening.
I will fuck anyone who brings me mcdonalds right now
Apparently I drunkenly told him I was going to ride him to the rodeo and break him like a bronco, then I stole his nachos and beer. Adulting is hard!!!
Randomize
