clay aiken is like melissa ehteridge without the guitar.
but, i was nude. you really should respect my stupidity and delete them. please.
she had condoms in her med. cabinet - magnums -I don't think I'm tall enough for this ride
I just realized. my grades aren't ready for st patties day...
My goal for tonight is to swipe my debit card through those weird rolls on the back of a big bald guy's head.
When Pony by ginuwine plays I pretty much just grind on the nearest penis.
You were asking her how her mother would feel if y'all dated, etc. And I was yelling at you your girlfriends name over and over again in between gags and sobs.
You know how I know she's ugly? 97% of her profile pics are flowers or animals. And what do we know about pretty people and the Internet?
I woke up in a tow truck cuddling plan b. Can you pick me up?
Do you hit a new low in life when you have to carry around a puke bag in your purse when you're hungover?
We climaxed at the same time during ain't no mountain high enough. Does it get more cheesy or domestic for a non relationship?
Yes. I masterbate to Harry Potter. It's what our generation does.
Your aunt just offered to blow me for a ride home....how did you end up such a prude?
So drinking that old rum that I found in the ceiling of my dorm was prob not my best idea. But good news: my puke was so colorful b/c of all the skittles i ate
Let’s not dwell on the negatives. I have a fat ass and suck dick well.
Randomize
