now everythime i write "i'm" in my phone my tap9 spells out "i'm-never-drinking-again". It's trying to remind me
She went to college and exploded out of the slut closet.
thanks for waiting 12 hours to ask if I was in a ditch or not
This bowl of cereal would be the size of a giant's bowl-piece. It's. that. big.
How much did you smoke??
Daquari drive throughs 24 hours a day. LORD HAVE MERCY
Well u missed Autumn's newly 21 yrs old sister flashing her tits and standing on the bar last night.
Fuck underwear. Let's get stoned and eat ravioli.
I would just like to point out that someone I had sex with drove me so I could have sex with you. I deserve some type of "most loyal booty call ever" award.
We bought a pool from walmart at 2am...and to make matters even more white trash we headed to Applebee's for half off appetizers and corona-ritas
Look outside and see if the septic tank explodes when I flush this.
im far more worried about your salsa intake than your weed intake
He used the ring emoji and we've gone out four times. What is my life.
Let it be known that on this day, the 26th of October, in the year 2016, I successfully put both of his balls in my mouth at once.
I JUST AGREED TO GO TO A CHILD'S BIRTHDAY PARTY AT A PLACE CALLED PUZZLE'S FUN DOME WHY DO I HATE MYSELF
I just discovered my new vice. Cotton candy vodka. Its like a carnival in my mouth, puking of the tilt-a-whirl included.
Randomize
