just heard a tri-delta girl talking about her drunken escapades last weekend...it's like the exact plotline to a hardcore porno.
That's so unfortunate for him bc you can always find another penis, but he's stuck with it
Glow parties are what I live for
Your priorities in life astound me
2000 dollars has been put in for bail money. Also we're signing contracts
he was too drunk to climb up my loft. i owe my beating teen pregnancy to four pieces of steel
My radar detector detects ice cream trucks. I think it was made for stoners
Life's too short to be sucking dicks in cars for the rest of my life.
I don't even remember what he looks like. All I know is he's 6 foot 100. I like that.
He came in two seconds and stole my pizza so I'm not counting it.
She definitely peed in a bucket in their closet last night. We should warn them about that, right?
I told my manager that I would be coming in to work either high from edibles on purpose or tripping on acid by accident so he knows to check my work tomorrow.
Binging muscle relaxers because when ur 33 you can no longer SHAKE IT LIKE A POLAROID PICTURE for 2hrs w/o consequences. Fuck you, Age.
Got a high five from a Superman stripper tonight
I ain't lettin her quit anyway. We don't fuck enough for her to meet the housewife requirements
Let's take a shot for every time we've said "I don't want to get that drunk tonight"
Randomize
