Have you learned any life lessons?
I like big butts and I cannot lie.
You'll put your fingers inside me but you won't be my FB friend?
I have to decide between the hot young blond with no apparent gag reflex, and the brunette with a great ass and a trust fund.
wow wtf my bar tab was 80 dollars
IT WAS DOLLAR BEER NIGHT
I think need to divide my DVD collection into "movies I've seen" and "movies I've only seen during sex"
I'm ready for this little girl to leave so I can hit the bong already
Or maybe my penis is just the key to their locked boxes of crazy, and I unleash their wrath upon all of mankind just so I can get my nut off
Well I talked to some Canadians today, and I'm keeping a vigilant watch for sharks, so I'm pretty booked up.
I didn't know what to do so I panicked and puked in my pillowcase with my pillow still inside.
The last thing I remember is goading each other into a vodka-chugging competition.
I've officially dedicated my newly single life to making myself squirt.
But truly, sorry about your empty vagina
Thanks boo.
I got dropped off at my house at like 1030. Woke up hugging a street cat I've never seen before. Ended up drinking 260 oz of beer. 65 types. Then went out after blehhhhhh
To celebrate the holidays this evening, I will be replying “FUCK YOU” to all my spam emails. Can’t tell you how excited I am
Btw I thought it was impossible to use up 48 bottles of patron in one night but I was wrong...
Randomize
