Apparently mid blow job I started crying telling her how "Wonderful this blow job is"
i lost my phone in the process of getting a condom out of my hair
It was worth having to clean the cum stains out of the carpet.
Level of drunkenness: just now when I sat down on the toilet, I had to double check to make sure I wasn't sitting on somebody's lap.
I woke up spooning my guard tube. Tell me I'm not the most dedicated lifeguard ever
We were fucking at break-dick speeds.
Well... He is a good looking man underneath all the fat and muff.
Stripper with the black hair and lip rings is still asleep. Found out she wasn't lying when she said she was a squirter, it was like splash mountain.
Do me a favor? If you get with him, please lick his abs. Someone has too they're just too beautiful not to.
The only thing stopping me from having sex with you in my parents jacuzzi bathtub is the knowledge that they've already had that idea themselves
She knocked me and my drink to the ground with her ass. I have never been mad at someone for having a glorious booty.
I think the only option is to smoke so much weed I just pass out for 3 days.
I came over to get dick...not to watch you vacuum....at 2 AM
Is it just me or is it like a girl gets married and all of a sudden she’s a “blogger”?
He's a college graduate, has an excellent job, and respects his family. To say nothing of his 8.5 inch cock. His narcolepsy not withstanding...I'm marrying this motherfucker.
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